The beginning of the end of a relationship is often when the
subject of marriage or living together comes up. The same thing
can happen when there is a glimmer of recognition that there is
no “I.” There is often a tendency to distract oneself or get busy, to
somehow avoid this that is always present. As in a relationship,
we are not always willing to go a little deeper.
When there is a glimmer of the Truth, the natural tendency is
to run. Many spiritual seekers run from teacher to teacher looking
for their teacher. After doing this for a while and hearing each
teacher point to the Truth, your teacher is the one you stay with
long enough to go where he or she is pointing instead of running
on to the next teacher. It’s not that that teacher is more special
than the rest, he or she is just the one you stay with long enough
to overcome your resistance to realizing the Truth. So, the invitation
is to stay here in the Truth.
Just as in a relationship there comes a point when you are
willing to stay even when the fear of commitment is stirred up,
there comes a point in spiritual seeking when you realize that, at
any cost, you are willing to stay. Often, the reason for running in a
personal relationship is the potential for loss—what was “mine”
becomes half “yours.” In recognizing the deeper truth that there is
no “you,” you don’t lose just half; you lose it all. You have to be
willing to let go of everything that came before, or at least your
investment in it.

If there is no more “you,” then who decides to stay?
The paradox is that, in spite of everything just said, you still
wake up in the morning and decisions need to be made—where to
go on vacation, whether to stay in a relationship, whether to give
your life to the Truth in this moment. Apparent decisions are part
of the unfolding of every moment. The difference is where you
put the credit. “You” have never made a single decision, and yet
choosing has been happening.”

Give Truth the same quality of
attention that you would to a new lover: be willing to stay present to
everything. There is an even deeper possibility: marriage to the
Truth. Just as there comes a point when you have had enough
love affairs, there comes a point when you are ready for a more
committed, deeper involvement with the Truth.
There is a wonderful fairy tale about a princess who meets up
with a frog who tries to talk her into kissing him. Finally, out of
the goodness of her heart, she kisses the frog, and it turns into
Prince Charming. To be honest, marriage to the Truth can feel like
you are agreeing to marry a frog.:)

The sacrifice that is called for is giving up your idea of yourself,
or the illusion of being a separate self. Despite all the entertainment
value that this illusion has provided, it has been the source of all of
your suffering, all of your struggle, and all of your problems. You
have to be willing to give everything up—your possessions, your
roles, your dreams, although these things may or may not be lost.
You have to be willing to kiss the Truth even though it may look
like a frog and have some incredible warts.

A brief fling with illusion no longer satisfies
the truth demands utter fidelity
with no possibility of divorce
all fear must be met
and recognized as the thrill of tasting the unknowable
all joy must be surrendered
and acknowledged as a gift with no giver
this union only requires telling the truth
even when the truth shatters your dreams
even when the truth leaves you emptied out
even when the truth reveals your counterfeit existence
then there is no other possibility .